Compassion and Kindness Overcoming the Language Barrier

Every year my wife's family and I all head to northern Wisconsin and we go camping for about 2 weeks. Activities include boardgames, fishing, skiing, jet skiing, tubing, swimming, camp fires, and most importantly the nightly trip to the ice cream shop. In all there are about 15 of us that make the trip. This year, however, was a whole new experience and it turned out to be the best camping trip I have had yet.

My in laws had a French foreign exchange student come with them this year. This young woman, 15 years old, was from Paris. She had never done nearly any of the above activities before in her life. No camping, skiing, fishing, jet skiing, tubing, nothing. Most of our food was very different from her norm. And to top it all off, we don't speak French, and she seemed to have no confidence in her English. The first couple of days, I could see she was sad. Imagine sitting around a campfire with fifteen people talking in Chinese. Laughing at jokes you don't understand. Imagine not feeling well, but having no way to tell anyone what is wrong. Imagine having home sickness with no way to convey your feelings to those around you. And then imagine having no way out. You are stuck in this situation for another two weeks, and for two weeks you will have to tough it out. This young woman was strong, however, and I could tell she would do just fine. Anything new that you presented to her, she would try it. Food, activities, you name it and she would do it. But I wanted her to do better than fine. I wanted her trip to the US to be something she would remember fondly for the rest of her life. I wanted her view of Americans to be one of compassion and kindness. And this is my EGO talking, but I personally wanted to be someone she would remember fondly as well. I wanted to be a happy memory that she could take with her back to France and on into life. I wanted to be someone she would miss.

I have a personality characteristic that often times gets me in trouble. I am a fixer. I am a giver. I want to help everybody. I don't want payment for this help. I just want to be appreciated. I crave appreciation. The problem is bad people take advantage of people like me. I am also told that I am charismatic. You know that crabby old man that lives next door that you just can't stand. Give me a week and he will be inviting us over for Packer Games. This trait has also gotten me into trouble more than once. You see, I have a tendency to talk to everybody and sometimes I come off as a flirt. (I honestly don't mean it, but ask my wife once about the 2 hot, blond, tall, twins. I will never live that one down.) Well, it was about time I put these often misused talents to good use. I wanted this young lady to open up and have some fun. I am not saying that everybody else did not want to do the same. I am just saying that I knew I could it. People often tease me about being a feminine man. Well, the fact is I am a little bit feminine. I cry during movies, I listen to Tori Amos, and I understand women better than I understand men. So take my personality characteristics (talkative, patient, feminine, flirtatious, giving) and you will know why I had no choice but to try and make this young woman's vacation just a little better.

It started with communication. I wanted to get to know her, and I wanted her to know me. This is much more difficult to discuss than simple statements like "I am hungry" or "How is your day." I wanted to talk about my wedding in Hawaii, about my job, my trip to Yellowstone and my meeting with a big horn sheep. What were her goals, school, and career dreams. What is Paris like, what do they think of Americans, and more... The only way this conversation was going to happen was with patience and creativity. How do you tell someone what a big horn sheep is. I ended up walking over to a Dodge Pickup and pointing at the emblem on the hood.

After some time, some talking, and a lot of hand signals we started to break down the barriers. The only way to become friends with someone is through communication and action. The communication was becoming less of a problem. The more we talked, the more I realized that she could speak English. She just had no confidence and was seemingly embarrassed to try. I believe that she felt her English was bad and did not want to come off sounding "stupid" or "incapable." As soon as she got started, however, it just seemed to get better and better. After the communication came the act of friendship. I spent time with her. I sat by her at the camp fires, took her jet skiing, went swimming, and continued to communicate. My father in law took her for a boat ride on the inter tube, and her foster parent (my brother in law) took her fishing for the first time.

It is wonderful feeling to be a part of something like this. To be an influence in a three week moment of a young person's life that they will never forget. Her first time doing and experiencing so many things. Her impression of the United States and it's people.

My goal was to cheer her up, make her happy, and help her experience in the States to be a good one. In the end, however, I think she did more for me than I did for her. She left me with my heart a little more full, and my chosen path of compassion and kindness a little more clear. I hope as she grows and her experiences broaden that she will remember her short, tattooed friend. I know I will remember her.

Lee "Speakin" Geurts

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